Tag: family

  • Our Austrian “Familymoon”

    Part III of my wedding week posts covers the days following the wedding. Or what I am calling our “familymoon”. As mentioned in my previous post, one of the reasons we chose to keep our wedding small was so that we could spend some of our budget on a trip with our families. It was the first time our families met and the first time my family was visiting us in Germany so we really wanted it to be special.

    Ever since my first visit to Europe, a constant feeling I have when I visit a new place is that I wish I could share it with my family. I’m so grateful that I can share via technology with Facebook, Instagram, Facetime, this blog, etc. But I always imagined how amazing it would be to have them here with me in the moment. I was so excited to finally get to experience this!

    We spent a lot of time thinking about and doing research on places to go. Ultimately we decided on a place we had actually looked at as a potential wedding location. It was a rental house we found through HomeAway.com. Alex and I had already scouted it out during a weekend trip when we camped in the area. Nestled in the Tyrolean mountains, Mesnerhof-C is a 400 year old restored farmhouse in Steinberg am Rofan, Austria.

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    The farmhouse is unlike any place I’ve ever stayed before. So much attention was paid to restoring it in a way that kept the character of the original farmhouse. I absolutely love old places like this and imagining the history that took place there.

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    It’s always a bit worrisome when you plan a trip that involves 12 people staying under one roof, especially with two small kids. However, the place was so big that there was a bed for everyone and plenty of room for relaxing. Everything we could have needed was there. A full kitchen and even some pantry items and beverages you could purchase if needed. We had a washer, linens, towels, a BBQ. There was even the luxury of heated flooring in the shower! While all of this was great and added to the comfort of our trip, the real standout of the place was the view. We spent countless hours sitting outside and just feeling like we were characters in a fairytale book, or in The Sound of Music. We walked through the fields surrounding the house while the kids picked wildflowers and we discovered an amazing playground at the church just a few hundred meters away and all became kids again. I think the greatest part about this house was the child-like feeling it brought out in all of us. Family, nature, fresh are and good food. Can you really ask for more?

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    Sure you can! Ok, while it would have been more than fine to spend our days relaxing at the house, we wanted to do a lot of things with the family so that they’d get the full experience. Since we were only 15 minutes driving from the gorgeous lake of Achen, or in German Achensee, we knew we’d have to have a visit there. We decided to combine it with a hike we’d heard about to a waterfall. In the end the hike was more challenging than expected. The description made it sound suitable for our group–we wanted something easier since we had two kids with us–but with the heat and the quick gain in altitude it was a bit more than we bargained for. However, everyone pushed through and we made it to the waterfall where we were rewarded with a cool mist that only slightly cooled us down. Then it was back down to the lake where we could really cool off with a dip in the clear turquoise water and a beer on the shore where the kids went into wrestling mode and the Dads took a nap.

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    The second full day we drove to the Hintertuxer Glacier. In the summer you can take a gondola to the top (3,250 meters) and get a little taste of winter. I loved that we were able to do this because it was a way to share the experience of some of the amazing views we get to see when we go on hikes in the Alps. It took a little bit of convincing to get my mom on the Gondola, but in the end I think she was really glad she overcame her fear of heights and went to the top with us. The view is just spectacular and there is enough snow all year round that skiers and snowboarders are still getting in some turns in July. I think this was really cool for the kids to go from swimming in the lake one day to playing in snow the next. We took a bunch of the required tourist photos from the top and then tested out the complimentary snowtubing hill which was lots of fun. Afterward we took the gondola back to the mid-station where it was a bit warmer at a lower altitude and enjoyed some beers and ice cream in the sun.

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    The rest of the time in Austria was spent exploring more, touring a castle, cooking and eating together, playing games, and going for walks. Just some good, old-fashioned, quality family time. It couldn’t have been any more perfect!

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    On the final day in Austria we were already one person short as Kristin had already flown back to the U.S. More goodbyes took place as we parted ways with Alex’s family temporarily. My parents, Alex and I would join them again in Tiefenort (their hometown) the following day. First we had to head back to Munich for one final night before taking Lauren, Jeff & Co. to the airport. We drove the scenic route back to Munich and made a couple stops to stretch our legs and check out the scenery. When we stopped to take across Sylvenstein Bridge for the view and we stumbled into the setting of a movie…literally! There was a film crew filming a scene with a guy who looked like a version of James Bond, driving a fancy car across the bridge. We had to stop and wait for them to finish the scene before we could walk across. None of us knew who the actor was though so it remains a mystery. Any readers recognize him? We made one more stop in the cute, mountain village of Mittenwald for some beers and souvenir shopping for the kids. The restaurant we chose had a nice view of the mountains and a TRAMPOLINE! Something you would never see in the U.S. for liability reasons.

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com
    photo credit: jeffmasseyphoto.com

    Back at the apartment we had one final evening together and there was no avoiding it since for this night EVERYONE stayed with us in our small apartment. My parents in the guest room, Lauren, Jeff, and Harper in our bed, and Alex, Brayden and I had a slumber party on the convertible couch. I woke up the next morning to start my birthday with Brayden crowding me out of the bed and stealing the covers and I couldn’t be happier. While I ran out to the bakery, unbeknownst to me my family was preparing a birthday surprise. I came home to flowers, a birthday breakfast cake, and presents. I was completely surprised and so happy to be celebrating a birthday with family…it happens so rarely now. I only wish they could’ve stayed the whole day!

    After more goodbyes at the airport we traded the giant van in for a smaller car and started the drive to Tiefenort. We spent a couple wonderful days there where Alex’s parents were amazing hosts and fed us all well. We BBQd for my birthday dinner and had the best Black Forest Cake I have EVER had. We took my parents on a tour of the salt mines in Merkers. On the final day we did some fishing together and had a nice BBQ at the local hunting lodge. I am still completely amazed at how well our parents were able to communicate with each other regardless or not speaking the same language. Body language, and facial expressions go a long way I guess!

    What incredible experiences and memories we all made together. I hope it inspires them to all visit us again (and soon!). It was really a once in a lifetime trip for all of us I think and will probably be one of the best memories of my life.

  • Our Bavarian Wedding Week

    Skip to the Photos!

    So, after a full year of planning, our wedding week was finally here. But let’s back up a minute and briefly talk about how we got here. As I think many newly engaged women do, I went a bit insane right out of the gate in terms of wedding planning. I found it so stressful to make the big decisions. How big would it be? Who would we invite? How much would we spend? And of course the biggest question, where would we have it? We discussed having it in the U.S., having it in Germany, or having it somewhere in between. I won’t go through all the points of why we settled on Germany but mainly we decided it’s where we are going to begin building our life together so it just made sense. Plus my family wanted to visit at some point so what better reason than a wedding? At first we had a list going of about 80 people we wanted to invite. We planned with this number in mind for awhile but I was still stressed and feeling insane. Eventually it all came to a head and I realized that we were planning a wedding that wasn’t really what I wanted. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see all 80 of those people on our list. But with my family being so far away I didn’t want the whole thing to go by in a blur. So there it was, we decided to keep it super small and by keeping our budget the same we were able to plan what I’m calling a “familymoon”. We decided that for us, sharing some of the amazing places we’ve seen with both of our families was just as important as the wedding.

    But then we also decided to get married in the States. Confused? Well, we already had a visit planned for early September 2014 and after doing some research we learned that it’s actually quite complicated to do the legal marriage in Germany. America on the other hand was super easy. I mean proof of that is that I actually legally married my best friend to her husband. And all I had to do was register my email address online. In North Carolina, where we were visiting, you can actually get married 24 hours a day. If the local courthouse is closed you can go to the county jail. No joke! We opted for the courthouse. Originally we wanted this to be completely no fuss. Just the two of us. Then we learned we need two witnesses. Then we thought it would be nice to have my brother-in-law photograph us. At that point we realized we might as well have the whole family there, so we told our families the plan and Alex’s sister was able to make the trip over with us to act as Alex’s witness.

    But I’m getting off track now and our first wedding deserves its own post, which will come later. So back to our wedding week in Bavaria.

    We ended up choosing a location about an hour from us in Samerberg, Germany. We had a lot of checkboxes to fill and Duftbräu filled almost every single one of them. We had turned wedding venue hunting into nice excuses for weekend trips but nothing had really won us over completely until we found Duftbräu. Our vision was to have a nice place in the mountains, on a lake, easily accessible, with good food, beautiful surroundings and a place for everyone to sleep. The only thing we didn’t accomplish was the lake, however there was a natural swimming pool within a short distance and a waterfall just a hike away. Our first visit to check it out was in the fall and we actually couldn’t see what the view looked like at all because it was so foggy. We were won over first by the beautifully renovated but still rustic restaurant and accommodations. Then when we met the owner and his family we were sold. They were so welcoming and we felt like we could trust them to make our day special. We were so right!

    We invited our guests to spend the whole weekend with us if they wanted to. My family was getting in earlier in the week so that we could spend some time exploring Munich and they could get over their jetlag. On Friday we packed up a giant van and headed to Duftbräu where Alex’s family would be meeting us. This was the part I probably was most nervous about. It was the first time our parents would be meeting each other which is stressful in itself. But also, they don’t share a language. I really didn’t know how this was going to turn out and had worried about it quite a bit leading up to the moment. However it was only hours after meeting that I spotted our Dads sitting together “chatting” by themselves. I rushed over to try and help translate so it wouldn’t be awkward and found that they were somehow successfully communicating with body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. In that moment I was able to relax and realize everyone was having a great time.

    Most of our guests also arrived the day before so we had a really nice time hanging out that evening and everybody got to know each other a bit before the big day. The next morning our guests went out for a hike, a swim or just relaxed while Alex and I got things ready. We still had some things to prepare and decorating to direct (thanks to everyone who helped with that!) before we could go get ready ourselves. I’m pretty sure it was the hottest day of summer (no exagerration!)

    I’m lucky to have a hairstylist in the family so Kristin styled my hair while Lauren and Christin were on bouquet duty. This was probably the only frantic part of my day. There were a bunch of loose ends to tie up and it’s hard to do that when your hair is being done and you have to delegate to others. We only had around 30 guests and I honestly cannot imagine planning something bigger. I don’t know how people do it. Alex on the other hand was enjoying beers with his boys while they got ready in his room. Typical!

    Once ready we chose to do what the photographers call a first look. This means our first look at each other is before the ceremony and is captured by the photographers. I really liked this as it wasn’t as nerve-wracking having everyone witness that moment. Our guests had a cocktail hour while we had our photo session and then we headed over to the ceremony site to wait for our guests. We had asked my brother-in-law, Jeff, and Alex’s sister Christin to perform the ceremony. We knew they would both do an excellent job and we wanted to be able to have the ceremony in both English and German so it worked really well. Instead of walking down the “aisle” – which honestly has always been a nightmare for me when I think about my wedding – we decided to have our guests walk to us. We had hung some streamers from a tree branch and we hid behind them with our two officiants and my nephew Brayden, the ring bearer waiting in front. We chose an instrumental version of Sigur Ros’ Hoppipolla by Vitamin String Quartet as the entrance music. Once our guests arrived we had a ring ceremony. Brayden handed out one long string of ribbon among all of our guests. At the end of the string were our rings and they were passed along our guests, one by one, where people were invited to send us blessings, prayers, good thoughts, whatever you would like to call them onto our rings. Alex and I had some fun peeking out at our guests during this. I later found out that some of them didn’t even know we were back there until we came out.

    The ceremony was beautiful. I don’t know how to put it into words how meaningful it was to us but I’m sure everyone realized when I started sobbing in the middle of it. I really really did not think I would cry. But in the moment all the emotion came rushing in and this ceremony honestly felt much more official than the one in the courthouse almost a year prior. With everyone standing there witnessing it, and being married by two people we love instead of a complete stranger, it felt totally different. It felt more like we were getting married for the first time.

    When the ceremony ended I finally looked out to our guests for the first time. While there were many people’s faces missing from that crowd I was so happy and grateful for the ones who were there.

    The first thing I did once we were back at the reception area was run to the bathroom and hold my dress up over my head. It was soooo hot!! My sister kindly wiped me down with a cold towel. I ended up having to do that a few times before the sun finally set. But honestly nothing was going to really bother me on this day. Everything was perfect.

    We had a lovely dinner served in the gazebo. The staff there did an amazing job setting up all the decorations we had made. They even built a signpost for the wayfinding sign Alex and I made with all of our favorite locations on it. And a local florist made little wildflower bouquets to put in our vases. Outside we had setup some giant jenga and cornhole games. We planned on games instead of dancing because, well, actually we’ve never really even danced together. All the traditions of the first dance, father/daughter dance weren’t really our thing so we thought games would be a better fit. We totally underestimated our guests. Once dinner was over a few games were played including a surprise game from two friends. Since it was July 4th we lit some sparklers in honor of the holiday. And then, to our surprise, a serious dance party broke out and continued until the staff was telling us it was time to go to bed. Somewhere in there the cake and cupcakes were served. Made by an American friend I’d met in Munich they were called “the best thing I’ve ever eaten!” by one of our guests. Shortly after cake, a mosh pit broke out. It was the most unexpected and hilarious thing of the night and it was thoroughly entertaining to watch. I decided to exit at some point to avoid witnessing any damages. Luckily everyone survived and the gazebo was unharmed. Even with only 30 guests the night went by too quickly. I was really happy we had decided to make a weekend of it, otherwise I would have felt like I didn’t get enough time with everyone.

    The next morning people trickled down to breakfast a little at a time and we reminisced about the previous evenings shenanigans and said our goodbyes. But the events weren’t over yet. Next up was our planned “familymoon” in Austria. What the hell is a familymoon you might ask? I think I made it up. Essentially we decided that instead of taking a honeymoon right after the wedding we would ask our families to join us on a trip so we could take advantage of my family finally being in Europe. For our actual honeymoon we are planning to take a road trip in 2016 and try and visit many of the people we would’ve loved to invite to our wedding but weren’t able to.

    What follows on the next two pages are first, the photos my brother-in-law of Jeff Massey Photography took of the day preceding and the day following our wedding. He captures things better than I ever could. On our wedding day he was on duty as officiant and we wanted him as a guest at our reception so we had some amazing photographers handle that day for us. I can’t explain how lucky I feel to have found Urška Majer and Domen Kolšek of Urška & Domen Photography. They were a perfect fit and captured our wedding day like the fairytale that it was to us. I didn’t know how important wedding photos would be to me until we got these back from them. If you’re reading this and looking for a photographer I would highly recommend them. They’re willing to travel!

    On to to the Photos!

  • My Family Visits Munich

    The night before my entire family arrived in Munich to visit me for the first time I was a huge ball of emotion. I was excited, nervous, happy, giddy, stressed… Something I know about myself is that I get really paranoid that my guests aren’t having a good time when they visit. I was worried I would ruin the experience for myself if that happened. With the jetlag and my niece and nephew being here, and so many people in one house…there was no telling how things would go. People kept reminding me that my family is coming to Europe, how could they possibly have a bad time?!

    Alex and I decided the only way to greet them at the airport was to do it properly. In traditional Bavarian dress! So in the morning we woke up feeling like it was Christmas morning (well I did, Germans celebrate Christmas at night), I put on my dirndl and Alex put on his lederhosen and we hopped on the train. This was my neice and nephews first plane ride and I was anxious to hear how it went. We waited for them outside the gate and I don’t think I could’ve been anymore excited. Having my whole family walk out of the baggage check exit is something I won’t soon forget. I just couldn’t believe they were all here with my in Munich.

    We had rented an apartment for Lauren’s family through Airbnb and Mom, Dad and Kristin were staying with us. Everyone took naps as soon as we got back from the airport. That was really hard for me to handle since it meant having to wait longer to hang out with them, but I knew it was for the best.

    Alex and I had a list of potential things we could all do. However, we really only had one day to do them. They arrived on Wednesday and we took it easy at home that day and had a BBQ. So then we just had Thursday for sightseeing since Friday we needed to leave for the wedding. Because we knew they’d be jet-lagged and since we had two small kids with us we didn’t set anything in stone and instead just picked some things off the list that seemed to fit with the mood and the day. The only unfortunate thing was the heat. I’m not 100% sure but I would guess it was one of the hottest weeks of summer. If not the hottest. By the end of the day Alex and I were both exhausted so I can’t imagine how my family was feeling. All I can say is that they were the biggest troopers!

    As we always do in my family, we ate and drank well throughout the visit. We served up a big Bavarian breakfast complete with weißwurst and beer to start the day. The we all hopped on the train to Nymphenburg Palace and walked around the grounds. I think for Brayden he would’ve been happy enough just riding the trains, trams and buses all day. He loved that we were riding the train underground. For the rest of us though we could’ve done without the stifling heat on the public transport. Since we were all about to die of heat stroke we headed to Augustiner Biergarden to have some lunch in the shade. We order a bit of everything to give them a sampling of Bavarian food. Some fresh whole trout, a giant pretzel, obadza (a camembert cheese spread), and a variety of meats. Of course we all had to order a Maß to rehydrate. The kids enjoyed the playground while the adults rested. Once we were somewhat revived we headed into the city center, starting at Stachus where we played in the fountain a bit to cool off. Then walking through the city, we checked out some churches, street musicians, and entertainers until we made our way to Marienplatz and the Rathaus. Then it was a short (some people would probably argue that it wasn’t short) walk through the Hofgarten and into the Englisch Garten where we stopped to watch the famous surfers on the Eisbach. Finally we cooled off in the shade with a few beers. At that point we were all ready to head home and have a nice BBQ on the terrace.

    My brother-in-law, who is an incredible photographer captured the entire trip and left us with some amazing memories. Just to give him a little plug, more of his work can be seen here: Jeff Massey Photography The following photos are all credited to him.

    The visit continues with our wedding festivities. Click here to read on.

  • 3 Months in Raleigh, North Carolina

    After my cross-country road trip with Acacia I spent some time with my parents and sister in Nashville. Then I drove from there to DC to visit my friend Sarah and for the first time meet her fiance Malcolm in person. Little did she know I was just a coverup for a surprise bachelorette party orchestrated by her close girlfriends. We took a cooking class, rented a hotel room and spent a nice evening out at some local Alexandria bars. The weekend was topped off with a delicious brunch. Raleigh-North-Carolina_0026.jpg

    After that I was headed to Raleigh for a much longer stay. My sister and her husband were generous enough to offer that I stay in their guest room for the remainder of the 3 months I was required to be in the U.S. With 3 adults, 2 kids, and a dog it was quite a full house. Luckily, I had a lot of work to keep me busy during this time so I passed the days working from my laptop, going to the local CrossFit, and helping out where I could with the kids, cooking, and cleaning. In the evenings and weekends I spent time with my sister and her family. Having this amount of time with them is precious to me since I have chosen a lifestyle that doesn’t allow me to visit often. This was also the first time that I was meeting my new niece Harper. The really amazing thing is that I also spent a bit of time living with my sister when my nephew Brayden was born. Now I’ve gotten to do the same with Harper.
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    I love these kids more than anything and bonding with them as babies makes me feel like I won’t ever be a stranger to them even when I’m living half a world away. I am so grateful that Lauren and Jeff were willing to put up with me for so long and that I have been able to count on my family to make my move to Europe easier.

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    Spring in Raleigh is lovely and we spent a lot of time enjoying the weather together. During this time we found out that Alex had gotten the job transfer he applied for. That meant that when I returned to Europe it would be to live in Munich, Germany this time instead of Switzerland. This was great for me logistically because I had a much better chance of getting a visa in Germany. But let’s not jump ahead because there were some other big events that happened while I was in Raleigh. Alex flew in for about 10 days and met my family for the first time. My parents and my sister Kristin drove in from Nashville as well.
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    While everyone had already met Alex via Skype this was the first in-person meeting. It was also Alex’s birthday during his stay and we celebrated with a day at Sarah P. Duke Botanical Gardens at Duke University. My mom made an awesome dinner and we all had a nice picnic in the backyard with Brayden delivering us cold beers on request. As a surprise I baked a special cake for Alex that my Dad delivered to Angus Barn where we would go for birthday drinks that night. There was some slight confusion when we got there and I was starting to think they had lost the cake but they finally brought it out and the smile on Alex’s face was well worth the effort.

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    We all took a little overnight trip to Wilmington for one night and while it was a bit windy and cold spending some time on the beach was wonderful. It was nice to show Alex yet another nice place to visit in the States and a great way to end the time spent with my entire family. I’m pretty sure everyone loved Alex as much as I do. Brayden especially bonded with him which to me is the ultimate seal of approval. 🙂

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    Next up Alex joined me on my little road trip to DC to be my date at Sarah and Malcolm’s wedding. We made a weekend getaway (a getaway from our getaway?) out of it and did some DC site-seeing. And if the timing of the events in my life weren’t already outstanding this year it just so happened that some cousins of mine were also in DC this same weekend. My cousin Nicole and her family were temporarily living in DC between job assignments and her sister Julia was visiting with her daughter. We probably hadn’t seen each other in somewhere around 18 years! When some of our family members realized through Facebook that we were in the same city some quick networking took place and we were able to have a rendezvous while we were all out touring the National Mall. It’s so funny that because of Facebook I know what people look like even if I haven’t seen them in forever. It kind of made it feel like it hadn’t been so long since we last saw eachother. Technology can be so wonderful!

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    Sarah and Malcolm’s wedding was lovely! The food, drink and people were all great. They did such an amazing job putting everything together. But that really was expected since they’re both designers for a living. Sarah looked gorgeous, Malcolm looked dapper and the best part for me was seeing one of my best friend’s tie the knot with someone who makes her so happy. I’ve known her for such a long time and we’ve seen each other through a lot. It seems that somewhere along the way we became adults!

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    The entire time Alex was visiting he also was wrapping up finding an apartment in Munich. Talk about multi-tasking! When he left the U.S. he went straight back to Basel to pack up and move to our new place in Munich. I don’t know how he did it all with such a calm demeanor but he pulled it off beautifully. And while I felt guilty that I wasn’t in a position to help I still had some packing and moving to prepare for on my own.

    When the time came to leave Raleigh it was bittersweet. Towards the end I had really started counting down the days until my move. I was missing Alex, ready for my own place, and anxious to see Munich and start my life there. At the same time it meant saying goodbye to my family and there is definitely nothing that breaks my heart more than hearing my 4 year old nephew tell me how much he will miss me and that he doesn’t want me to go. Even though it’s been my choice to live so far away it doesn’t ever mean that I don’t miss my family. Saying goodbye seems to get harder each time.

    Photo credits: Jeff Massey Photography, Myself, Alexander Küster and Alexandra Langley

  • Alex visits San Diego or Why I Moved to Switzerland Part 3

    Part III of III (finally!). Read Part 1 and Part 2.

    After spending a week in Helsinki my three month trip to Europe was over. As sad as I was to be leaving I was just as happy to be flying back to San Diego. Not only because I missed the place that had become my home over the past three years, or because I missed my friends, or Mexican food… but because I had met a guy and he was on a four week trip through California which would end in San Diego.

    Alex and I hadn’t seen each other since our trip to Tuscany together for my 30th birthday though we sent messages and Skyped as much as we could. Before we crossed paths Alex already had planned a trip to San Francisco to run in the San Francisco marathon with some friends. Post-marathon he planned to spend 4 weeks road tripping through California with his friend Tom. And as the universe would have it they would reach San Diego in the last week of their trip and just shortly after I returned home from Europe. Tom’s flight home was just a few days earlier than Alex’s as well so we had a few days to spend together just the two of us.

    I was incredibly excitednervousanxious for him to arrive. Not just because we hadn’t seen each other in so long. This was someone I spent only two long weekends with, and what would happen when he left San Diego? Would we ever see each other again?

    I’m not sure if Alex noticed but by the time he reached San Diego I had some serious walls up and it took a good few days before they started to come down. I spent the first few days enjoying our time together and showing Alex and Tom around San Diego a bit. But simultaneously I was searching for any possible red flag…any little thing to not like about Alex so that it would be easier to say goodbye. I didn’t know what I was doing at the time but it all became clear when the week ended and I took him to catch his train to L.A. for his flight home.

    After fighting with myself silently for the past week, from feeling like I’ve met the perfect person for me, to being certain that there was no way it could work, and then back and forth again, it was the moment that his train pulled up to take him to L.A. that everything became clear to me. There was no possible way that this could be the last time we saw each other. I was learning a lot about myself that week. First discovering the defense mechanisms I never acknowledged having, and second how horrible I am at goodbyes. Luckily Alex isn’t and was able to say out loud what I was thinking…”our story can’t be over.”

    Unlike in Switzerland this train goodbye was more like the movies. The train conductor stood there politely ignoring us while we made out in the rain until the whistle blew and he told Alex he had to board. I employed every muscle in my face to keep it from crumpling as I watched the train pull away and then immediately erupted into sobs all the way back to my car where I sat for quite awhile gathering myself. My only comfort was that I truly believed that this wasn’t the end.

    And it wasn’t. After Alex left we immediately began hatching plans of how to be together. Should he move to the U.S.? Should I move to Switzerland? There were many possibilities to consider. Alex was open to moving to the U.S. but it didn’t make sense to me. He was at a turning point in his job and leaving it would mean taking a step backwards career-wise. I on the other hand ready for something new job-wise and I always had the option of freelance work. A huge struggle for me in all of this was my ego. As much as I wanted to drop everything and just move there was that side of me that wanted to be the strong, independent woman that wouldn’t leave the life I had built on a whim about a guy. Challenging or not, my job was great and I was on the verge of signing a lease that would put me in my first apartment sans-roommates a block from the beach in Southern California. I had worked hard for the past two years and saying that the idea of continuing down that path wasn’t tempting would be a lie. Without Alex there in front of me doubt crept in again. This time it wasn’t about how I felt but whether I should follow my heart or my brain.

    I weighed the options carefully. I sought advice from all my close friends and family. The overall vote was unanimous…I should follow my heart. But friends and family are bias and I still wasn’t sure. The push I needed came unexpectedly. I went out to meet my friend Rebecca one night and was introduced to her friend Jamie. Jamie was engaged and would be leaving to Ireland for her wedding in two weeks and then onto Italy to honeymoon. I told her about my time in Italy which of course led to discussing Alex and the decision I was in the midst of making. I was laying out all the options with her, discussing the pros and cons of each when suddenly she barked at me “What are you doing?! Quit your job tomorrow and move there!!” I’m paraphrasing and her language was a bit more persuasive. I don’t know why it took someone I just met to make me suddenly wake up. Maybe it was the few drinks we’d had. Maybe I’d already made the decision and just needed a random unbiased person to tell me it was OK and I wouldn’t be judged for it but that was it…I was going to move to Switzerland.

    I told Alex my decision and everything began to fall into place. I took a month-to-month room in my co-workers house instead of signing that lease for the beach apartment. I had to stay in the U.S for 90 days before I could return so I left my job at the end of October and bought a plane ticket that would take me to Raleigh just before my nephew’s birthday so that I could bake him his birthday cake and see my family before flying on to Basel.

    But with the highest highs sometimes come the lowest lows. The night before my flight to Raleigh I got the news that my brother-in-law’s mother Jeri had died in a car accident. The news shook me and my entire family to the core. Jeri was the kind of person that made me homesick for my own mom (in a good way) when I was around her. She made every single person in my family feel like they were a part of hers. Every time I saw her and she heard about my next adventure her genuine excitement for me made me feel proud of my decisions. She really had a way of making you feel good about yourself. But now, suddenly my family’s life was turned upside down and I wasn’t sure what to do. My first thought was that I would have to cancel going to Basel so I could be there for them to help however I could. As my thoughts spiraled I couldn’t help but think about how I was about to move thousands of miles away from my own family and my own parents…and how precious every moment is. Was this a sign?

    I’m not religious and I’m still figuring out what I believe in terms of how the universe works. All I know is somehow my decision to move to Basel put me in Raleigh the day after Jeri’s death so that I could hug my sister and brother-in-law, help them out in their time of grief and through the funeral, and be there for my 4-year old nephew as he struggled to understand why his Nana was gone forever. I struggle to understand why things like this happen but one thing I pulled from this tragedy was that my brother-in-law is one of the strongest people I have ever met. My sister, my nephew and my niece (who was was on the verge of being born at the time) are in the best hands possible. He took on one of the biggest challenges he will ever face in his life with the same brave determination that his Mother took on in her fight and defeat over breast cancer. And this made me realize two things. I don’t need to worry so much about my family…they are just fine. And if I live my life revolving around the fear of not being close to them then I will miss out on the chance to have what they have.

    And so I left Raleigh with a heavy heart but a renewed confidence in my decision once again. And when I walked out of the airport in Basel and saw Alex waiting for me I felt nothing but pure, complete happiness.